


You were my future, I was your yesterday

by UpInOrbit



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, MINOR DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE, Mentions of Blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 02:59:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15877089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UpInOrbit/pseuds/UpInOrbit
Summary: “Was it because he didn’t kiss you?” he didn’t even give the other boy time to answer. He leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “There. Now you can’t be sad” Minghao didn’t kiss people easily, but it made Jun smile a blinding smile, and he liked seeing Jun smile, so he would kiss him as many times as he needed to until he stopped being sad.Or how it took literal ages for Minghao and Jun to finally be together





	You were my future, I was your yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is. I just wanted to write for a new fandom, and I thought of Seventeen, because they are my kids, and suddenly I had an idea and a pairing, until I changed the pairing because i though this suited them better. Boom, before i knew it, I had almost 2k written, when I had to continue with my chaptered fic but...This is unbeta'ed and I'm not a native speaker so forgive any posible mistakes.  
> There are minor mentions of violence (in fact I didn't even really describe it but if you're uncomfortable, take it into account, please). There's no other kind of violence, and everything else is very metaphorical, because I felt like writing like this today.  
> The title is taken from "My I", because I can't come up with titles for the love of my life.  
> I hope you enjoy it!

It all started with a kiss. It was wet, sweet and sloppy, like only the kiss of a six-year-old can be. It meant nothing to Minghao, but it was enough to make Jun stiffen, and nothing made Jun stiffen. So Minghao took a look at the boy with big eyes and a crooked smile, nodded curtly and grabbed Jun’s hand to drag him away. 

“Why are you sad?”

Jun smiled. It was the kind of smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and Minghao decided then and there that he hated that smile and he’d do everything he could to stop seeing it on his friend’s face.

“Was it because he didn’t kiss you?” he didn’t even give the other boy time to answer. He leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “There. Now you can’t be sad” Minghao didn’t kiss people easily, but it made Jun smile a blinding smile, and he liked seeing Jun smile, so he would kiss him as many times as he needed to until he stopped being sad.

 

***

 

The first Valentine day of their high school years, Minghao received twenty cards. He refused to read them at school, so he dutifully tucked them all away to read them at home. He knew he wouldn’t return the sentiment to any of them, but those were people who had taken time out of their lives to write him something, so the least he could do was give them some of his own time in return, by reading them. He had only read two when Jun came into his room, and jumped onto his bed, laughing loudly. He rested his head on Minghao’s bony shoulder, and read the card with him. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to.

Minghao closed the letter, and put it away with the others, turning to look at his friend. His friend, who wouldn’t look him in the eye, turning his head ever so slightly, avoiding his gaze. Minghao grabbed his chin softly, until Jun looked at him, his bright eyes a little dull, the corner of his lips pointing down.

“Why are you sad?”

Jun smiled, the kind of smile that didn’t reach his eyes. 

“Was it because you didn’t get any cards?” He didn’t understand how that was even posible, but he gathered all of the cards and put them back in his backpack. “Let’s watch a movie. Your choice”. Minghao hated most of the movies Jun chose, and he always put up a fight when it was Jun’s turn to choose, because he knew he would choose the dumbest movie with the dumbest plot and the dumbest characters just to spite him. But Jun was sad, and he didn’t like it when Jun was sad, so he would put up with his choice. He would still read the cards, but when Jun wasn’t there, so that he wouldn’t upset him again.

For the moment, he would watch the dumb movie with the dumb plot and the dumb characters that said dumb gags, because it made Jun smile as brightly as the Sun, and he liked seeing Jun smile.

 

***

 

The first hands that touched him were a little cold, but Minghao didn’t mind. Sometimes his body shivered from the coldness seeping into his body, but he recovered quickly, and he always had Jun by his side, helping him recover from the cold.

But slowly, the hands that were just a little cold, but a cold that he could manage, started to become freezing. And touches that previously managed to make him shiver but that warmed him after, started to numb him, the cold too much to handle, until he would retreat, only to scape the cold. And so those touches he once sought, he started to avoid, until these became scarce, but the scarcer they became, the colder they turned.

Who would have known the cold could burn this much? Sometimes he cut his dates short, because he shivered too much, because he could almost see the frostbite in his skin, even if no one else could. So he ran back to the one person who could help him, who held him in his arms until Minghao stopped shaking, the warmth radiating in calming waves, slowly but surely melting the ice away.

Jun made no questions as Minghao calmed down, nor did he say anything when his friend asked him to go with him as he met his boyfriend. He did as he was told, staying back until everything was over, as Minghao’s boyfriend received the news with a nod, and he and his cold hands slipped away from Minghao’s life for ever. He never asked any questions, nor made any comments, waiting for Minghao to open up at his own pace. He was there when he broke down and when he built himself back up. He never said anything, but he didn’t have to.

“Why are you sad?”

Jun smiled, the smile never reaching his eyes. He leant forward and pressed his lips to Minghao’s forehead, kissing him briefly.

“It wasn’t your fault” Minghao said, because he knew Jun had never liked his ex, and he felt guilty about his breakup. So he bought tickets for the new amusement park Jun had been wanting to go but had never gone too, because Minghao had promised to go with him, except there had never been enough time. And he promised Jun he would go with him on all the rides he wanted, even if he knew Jun loved rollercoasters, and those made him sick to his stomach. But when, after the first ride, he saw how Jun’s smile was so wide his face threatened to split, he didn’t care he was a little dizzy, because he loved seeing Jun smile.

 

***

 

His next boyfriend hand’s were a little too hot, but Minghao didn’t mind. His body remembered the cold, and he didn’t want anymore of it, so he reveled in the hot touches that melted the ice that was left deep inside him, helping take the numbness away. Sometimes it felt like some kind of brand, the heat reaching to his very core and he was scared, but also a little excited.

But the comforting heat that was like a warm blanket turned into wary looks from Jun as that same heat threatened to smother Minghao. And suddenly the heat became too much, imposible to scape from, invading every corner of his life, until Minghao just wanted to break free and run away. The same hands that had once help him get rid of the ice started to brand his skin, imprints that no one saw, but that were too much for Minghao. So he ran back to the one person he knew he could trust, who received him with his arms open, and whose cool touch soothed his burning skin.

He didn’t ask questions, and let Minghao cry his eyes out, carefully holding him in his arms, like he was precious, like he was about to break, holding him tight enough to make him feel both secure and free to go at any time. And maybe that made Minghao’s heart clench, and maybe that made him cry a little harder.

And when he calmed down he went to find his boyfriend, to put an end to it, because even if he didn’t really want to see him, Minghao thought those were the kind of things you had to do face to face. He didn’t even have to ask Jun, who was already going for his car keys. 

He knew they would find him partying where he usually went and sure enough, there they found him, drunk and wasted, and a little out of his mind. And so Minghao put an end to their relationship, but the alcohol had messed up his ex’s head, and he didn’t want to Minghao go. When he grabbed his wrist, pulling the boy towards his body, Jun stepped between them. And the hatred both of them had for each other exploded. 

Jun, beautiful Jun, with his bright smile and loving hands, was nowhere match for the other’s strength when the fist connected to his jaw. But that didn’t stop him from retaliating when he saw Minghao thrashing against his ex’s grip. The next thing Minghao knew, there were fists flying everywhere and Jun, his Jun, beautiful and kind, was spitting blood, his head on the floor, bloodied hand extended towards him, his face lit by the blue and red lights of the police.

He felt tears streaming down his face, his throat constricted, air barely enough, as he cradled Jun’s body in his arms, fingers caressing his face. He refused to let go, not when the ambulance came, not on the way to the hospital, not until they forcefully removed him from Jun. All he could think was in Jun’s smile, how he treated him like he was the most precious thing in the world, and the pain and terror he had felt when he had seen him receive the first hit.

When he received permission to go into his room, he sprinted to his bed, feeling even more tears falling down his face. He sat by his bed, grasping his hands, never wanting to let go.

“Why are you sad?” Jun asked.

“Because I thought I was going to lose you” it was barely a whisper, but Jun smiled a knowing smile, and Minghao thought back to all those times when he had asked the same question and he had only obtained a sad smile in return. Maybe things finally made sense. Maybe that smile finally had an explanation. And he felt his heart break and a chocked sob made it’s way up his throat.

Jun’s fingers stroked his face, feather like touches drying his tears, until he finally looked up.

“I’m so sorry”, he cried. Jun shook his head.

“Don’t be. You’re here after all”, the smallest hint of a smile.

“And I won’t leave. Unless you want me to”. So he leaned forward, like he had done so many years before, brushing his lips to Jun’s chapped and split ones. 

Their first kiss tasted of iron and medicine, sadness and love, regret and hope, but it didn’t matter because it was just the first of many more to come. The position was awkward, uncomfortable for Minghao, but he couldn’t care less, not when it had taken him so many years to come to that exact realization. Because maybe their hearts were still broken, but they would be fine, as long as they had each other, like they had all those years, and everything would be worthy if he could make Jun happy, make that smile of his permanent. And he promised it, to himself and to Jun, because he loved his smile almost as much as he loved him, and he would love him until their names had been forgotten and the last of the stars had faded away.

**Author's Note:**

> Not going to lie, this made me a little bit sad as I wrote it. I promised I didn't want to make it this angsty, but it was alive, guys. I hope you have enjoyed this!  
> Kudos and comments warm my heart and hopefully I will contribute to the Seventeen tag soonish.
> 
> [tw](https://twitter.com/monstaruniverse) || [cc](https://curiouscat.me/Val_99)


End file.
